36 hours

In 36 hours (give or take a minute and a few seconds) I'll be ....32. It's starting to sound old. Which is funny, I don't feel old. I don't look old (or so I'm told). I don't think I act old (even though my usual bedtime is around 9pm...it happens when you have to wake up at 5am and put in long days of studying, working and parenting). 32, wow, it doesn't seem possible. I feel a decade younger then that number implies. I think, from now on, instead of making new year resolutions I'm going to make birthday resolutions. It seems better as you almost always renege on the new year ones. Instead of resolutions I think I'll call them promises. I try never to break a promise. I also try to never make promises I cannot keep. Needless to say I make few promises. So I'll think on this for the next 36 hours (well now 35 hours and some odd minutes) and post on Wednesday what I'll promise for myself. I have an idea, but I want to make sure they are viable and it's something I'll keep. No disappointment hurts worse then when you disappoint yourself.

Semester is almost over and I think I'm doing all right in most of my classes. Calculus is kinda iffy and I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to retake Gen. ChemI. The others I'm sure I'm doing just fine in. I'm switching majors from Biochem to Dietetics. Still have to take Gen. Chemistry and Organic Chemistry, ugh. Anyway I think it'll go more towards the type of doctor I want to be. If I was heading into pathology, endocrinology, oncology then Biochemistry would be great. I just want to be a Family physician. I want to treat the whole someone, not just give them a pill and send them on their way. I want to be able to give them the tools they need to live a healthy life. In order to teach my patients I have to learn. I want to be able to do so much, I really hope I can get there. I'll be a good doctor, I know this in my heart.

Hey this isn't Chemistry

Yeah I know I should be going over my Chemistry homework. I was but in the middle of figuring out some Molarity calculations I got bored. Doesn't help I went off and forgot my glasses at home again today and my eyes are feeling the strain. So I'm sitting here at the UC killing time waiting for Calculus class to start, even though I may only go to 3/4 of the class. My philosophy professor canceled class today and my World Civ. class gets out early and leaves me two hours to kill. So far I've got one hour down now only one more to go.
My arms, shoulders, legs are so sore from working out yesterday. Yesterday the personal trainer took me for circuits lifting weights and 10 min. on the elliptical. I don't like the elliptical. She kept saying to just let the machine move you and don't fight it. I tried I really did. It's just not a natural movement for me. It's like bicycling, standing up, with no seat, except your not suppose to press down on the pedals. I did not like it one bit. The weight lifting, assisted pull-up(I think thats what she called it...we took a bar and instead of the traditional pull-up you stood on the ground, leaned back and pulled yourself to the bar...she said to do this 'cause women are not like men and are not designed to be able to pull up the other way). So by 8pm last night I was ready for bed I was so wore out.
Well back to Chemistry, these molar concentrations, molarity, moles are calling my name and my grade is requesting I go.

I love Wednesdays

Really I do. It's the middle of the week, Monday is behind us and the weekend is only two days away. Plus, to make even more perfect, I get out of class at 10:05 then have a session with the personal trainer at 10:30. Last week I left feeling awesome. In spite of getting a bit nauseas towards the end. Every time in the past week I've gone and done thirty minutes on the treadmill and left I feel refreshed. I'm looking forward to today. Even though I don't have my English Lit homework completed, ugh bad Jackie. I'll work on it in a few minutes though and print out what I do have and go with it. Anyway, I've not quite reached the water amount she wanted me to drink ( 2L or 2 smart water bottles full) but I've gotten close most days. My soda intake is still too much (I'm only to drink one a day and I've had one-two a day), I'm getting there. I feel like I should of done more but at the same time I feel like I'm just where I need to be at the moment.

Well it's Saturday. That about sums it up. Not a lot going on really, with Hubby working today it's kinda blah on the home front. I have someone coming from the funeral home coming by later, I believe. It seems I signed up for and won a living will, planning and some certificates for the kids in case the worst should happen. I figure it wouldn't hurt to do since Hubby and I don't have a will and I would like to have it wrote down somewhere what should happen just in case Hubby and I should meet with an accident. Especially while the kiddies are all minors. Basically the kiddies will all go to my baby sister and her husband and all our stuff thats worth anything will be sold and the monies divided up between the four children. Also with the living will, I don't want to be put on life support. Only exception would be if there was a great chance I would be able to come off it and live a good life. I don't want to be one of these people that I've taken care of who cannot communicate, cannot eat, and need oxygen and basically just lay in bed following goings on in there rooms with their eyes because thats all there is for them. That is not a good life. That is some family member being selfish, and I do not want to "live" like that. I don't mind having anything done that is temporary. I don't want my children putting a feeding tube in me when I'm old due to dementia related eating problems. Don't prolong my misery, make me comfortable and let me go. I'm hoping though I don't develop any form of dementia, but it's prevalent in the elderly. I see more 80-100 year old Alzheimer/ dementia patients then I see of those with all or most of their mental functioning. Of course I work in a nursing home and if your 80+ years old and still can function on your own you're probably not there so there is a population of elderly people that I can't add in.

Okay enough of that, it's depressing and it's a beautiful day and I've got a house to clean and get company ready.

An Odd Morning

At about 2:30 this morning DD wakes up saying she just threw up. Well thats just great as I have a Calculus test today that I cannot miss. So I tell her to just clean it up and go back to bed that in hopes she'll feel better in a couple hours. No such luck. So I decide well, I can skip my first two classes today and just go in to take the test. She'll have to stay by herself for about an hour or so but she'll be okay. Then I remember, crap I told that girl in my World Civ class that I would give her a copy of my notes from Tuesday. So I hustle to type up the notes and send them in an email to her. During this time 6:30 comes and my oldest son is saying "Okay guys its 6:30 we gotta go watch for the bus" I'm hollering be right there. Hubby calls on house phone and I tell him I'll call him back on my cell as I got to walk the boys down. Well between the time I hit send grabbed my cell phone, checked daughter as she had just thrown up again and went outside the boys were gone. It was 6:34 and they were already on the bus and on their way to school. I felt bad. I'm always down there at the end of the driveway to make sure they don't horseplay too much and get on the bus safely. We don't live on a busy street but we have some jerks who drive 55 or more in a 35 and don't like to stop for the school bus (Last week one idiot sat there honking at the bus as the kids where getting on, grrr. The day before another idiot waited till the kids had stepped off the bus, the sign still out door not shut, and just drove on by the bus. A neighbor kid (a little 1st or second grader) had just barely reached his driveway when the idiot did this. Timing is your problem not a child's if your in that much of a damn hurry then maybe you need to get around sooner.) Anyway I felt bad I didn't make it down there to wait with them. I'm glad they're responsible enough, but they're kids and play around too much if they have to wait very long.

So here I am doing some last minute studying (well about to do anyway) for Calculus test and hoping the girl in my class checks her college email. Hoping daughters stomach ache and vomiting goes away soon.

On another note. My first meeting with the personal trainer went great yesterday. First was a 20 minute fast-paced walk on the treadmill. Then we did some core training (hip tilts, superman's on hands and knees and then again on belly, dips, squats using a ball and the wall, assisted push-ups (push-ups while laying the ball), a couple types of crunches, some other exercise where you lay on the floor and lift your butt up, did this with one leg crossed over the other as well. Started to do some wall exercises where you stand about 6-12 inches from the wall put the back of your hands against the wall (leaning shoulders against the wall) and push off with hands remaining against wall. I did a few of these but then started to feel super nauseous. So the last few minutes had me laying on the floor with my feet up so that I didn't faint or vomit. The trainer said I did great though and she's really nice so I'm looking forward to my next meeting with her. I'm going to try to do some of the exercises we did yesterday today. I'm only allowed one soda, or sweet tea a day and have to drink about(at least) 2L of water a day. Friday after class I'm going to go and spend 20-40 minutes walking on the treadmill (she said not to run just yet. Just a brisk walk will do, just to get my heart rate up to 130-160 bpm). I'm excited and thinking why haven't I done something like this sooner. Everyone smiles at the gym, no one seems to judge (even though everyone I've seen is fit and healthy looking). I feel more comfortable then I thought I would.

...One Giant Leap for Me

Okay so the college has this deal called Fitness Framework. You sign up for only twenty dollars and you get to have 4 one hour sessions with a personal trainer. This is an incredible deal and since I figured I would be silly not to take advantage of and had been planning on starting going to the college's gym a couple times a week anyway, I signed up. Today I go in for my free fitness assessment. Where they check body fat, body composition, flexibility, cardiovascular, strength, and blood pressure. I'm kind of nervous about this. Silly, I know. It's not like it's a test that I'll be graded on and have to worry about how it will affect my g.p.a. Still, having some strange guy (who looks hunky in his picture) judging how fat and out of shape I'm in is nerve wracking. That's the whole point of this though. I am fat and out of shape and want, no NEED to do this in order to be happier with myself and healthy for myself and my family. After today the guy who runs the program will hook me up with one of the personal trainers and then we design a workout plan to help me with my fitness goals. It'll be awesome and much better once the damn butterflies in my stomach go away.