I Wish I Was...

I wish I was like some of the mommy bloggers I read. They seem to have it all together. Frozen meals ready for quick dinners when two kids have practice/games the same night. Nanny Mcphee-ish way of getting kids to clean house, do chores, behave.  The pictures of their kitchens are always so sparkling, organized, clutterless.

I wish I was like a fitness blogger. Lose weight, keep it off, have perfect abs. Always able to overcome temptations. Lifting weights, running races like a boss.

I wish I was like some of my organic chemistry classmates. When the professor draws a structure on the board they are already calling out the name while I'm still counting carbons. They know what the resonance, stereoisomer, product, etc is without taking time to draw arrows to see where each and every proton, lone pair is going.  I'm not saying they're right every time. Just having the confidence to say what I think the answer is would be awesome.

I wish I was like my youngest son. Able to let stuff just roll off my shoulders like water. Instead I internalize everything. I keep it..every hurt, every put down, every disappointment. It's a heavy load, I would like to drop it.

I wish I was like my sister that is closest to me in age. She has to be the sweetest, most forgiving person I know. She's not perfect and does have her limits. However, like my son, she is able to let most stuff roll off. She also gives everything of herself to make sure those she cares about are happy.

What I am like:

• I procrastinate, badly
• I am encouraging. I believe everyone has it in themselves to be their best, do their best, at what ever they want to do.
• I am shy. Not as bad as I used to be, but still pretty bad. It can be crippling, I know I've lost opportunities because of not being able to pick up a phone, send an email, ask a person. 
• I fear rejection...this goes with the one above.
• I am disorganized. 
• I am not lazy, though I have a tendency to overwhelm myself to a point that I just can't get everything done and give up.
• I give up too easy
• I love strongly
• I'm protective

I have positives and negatives, I'm not perfect and I do have a tendency to harp on my negatives too much. I know I am a nice person and people like me. I just wish I liked me a bit more...