Friday, April 29, 2011

So Nervous

Today is finals day for American History and Accounting.  I've been studying on and off for the past few weeks. I'm terrified.  What happens if I forget everything once I sit down to take the exams?  Will I be okay if I don't do so hot?  Monday I have Gen Chem I and Intro to Dietetics, Tuesday the last Statistics test.  I made an A- in Chemistry lab.  I want to pull a C for lecture so I can finally move on.  I'll have an A in Statistics after Tuesday (I love self-led classes).  I'm hoping for a B but will be glad for a C in Dietetics.  I think I'll have at least a B in History and again hoping for a B but glad for a C in Accounting.   Not the best grades, I know.  However as I'm taking harder and harder classes as long as I've honestly tried I'm happy with B's (C's still not okay, but I'll live with them).
My test anxiety is mild compared to other people.  Everyone gets anxious because the final test is, normally, such a big part of your grade.  My chemistry final is worth 160 points out of a total 500 points, that's 32% of my total grade.  That can make or break you. It's sorta comprehensive as well.  The professor said it was going to have chapters 9 and 10 and some from the earlier chapters as well.  I'm thinking it's mostly going to be 9 and 10 with some extras thrown in to fill up the points necessary.  So I'm studying chapters 1-10 with extra attention to the areas that I've had difficulties with (gas laws and the energy problems mostly).  Accounting should be okay as long as I remember how bonds are done and get assets, liabilities, cash flows all straight.  I took a mock final last night and wasn't too impressed with myself.  History is easy, I've been learning American History since kindergarten.  It doesn't change much so I'll look over my notes here in a few minutes and I'm confident I'll do fine.  Dietetics is, well different.  I have a feeling most of her questions are going to be over the American Dietetic Society.  So I'll make sure I know their mission and goals and everything and go over the power points she did in class.
I was told by a former co-worker last night that I came up in conversation the other day.  Everyone is talking about how well I'm doing.  I adore my ex co-workers and do hope I live up to the hype.  I've been getting told by quite a few people that so and so mentioned how proud they were of me and how smart I am.  I don't feel smart most of the time.  I'm so worried that I'm going to disappoint a ton of people.  This doesn't help my stress/anxiety levels any.  I'm glad that people think well of me, I hope I can surpass their expectations. It's a struggle at times (most of the time actually).  I get frustrated, my house gets messy, I forget things (appointments, bills, keys, kids' homework). I feel like I'm expected to do everything and do it exceptionally well. I'm not perfect, I'm human.  I try my best and cross my fingers and pray to whichever deity ( god, goddess, God, Flying Spaghetti Monster) will listen.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Is it Friday Yet?

This is what I woke up to this morning...

     No electricity, so no coffee. Look out the front door (no glasses so seeing items faraway wasn't so good) and see what in my morning fuddled mind looked like a big piece of plywood.  I mentioned I hadn't had coffee, right.  I take a few steps and realize that's not just some plywood that got blew around by the storm last night. It's a tree down. I walk to the end of the driveway and see this great big tree down, covering the end of the driveway and most of the street.  Well hell, how in the world am I going to fix this.  Hubby is on an out-of-town job.  I have no idea how to use a chainsaw and I'm pretty sure at a few minutes to 6am most of my neighbors are either asleep or on their way to work.
    Luckily my neighbor's son got home from his third shift job as I was standing there contemplating on how I was going to get this 100ft(that's my guess, may be bigger or smaller I didn't get out the ruler) tree out of the road.  He walks over with an ax.  Well that's something but it's quickly figured out that an ax is just not efficient when dealing with a tree of this size.  His words were "I didn't realize it had so many limbs." He hadn't used a chainsaw either but was willing to try.  Braver then me, I'm scared I'll cut my foot off or something.  I was nearly thirty before I would use a weed-eater for the same reason.  I'm only thirty-two, so yeah it takes me a while to be comfortable with big power tools.  
   Anyway, he fires up the chainsaw and between me, him and eventually my oldest son; we get the mess off the road in about an hour.  Still have a big 'ol tree laying down in my front yard, but Hubby will help take care of it when he gets home.  Something like this has got to happen when he's out-of-town.  He said that he may be gone next week too...guess I need to learn to use the chainsaw.  I'm tempted to cut all the trees down that are near my house.  There's been some many news reports around here about trees falling into homes and people barely escaping, or in the sadder cases not making it out at all.  I saw one house on my home today that, to my eye, looked nearly split in two by this huge tree on it.  I hope whoever lives there is okay.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

15 Years Ago

A young bride waited nervously for her big day

Holding her grandfather's strong capable hand she walks down the aisle
Then she looks into the eyes of the man proclaiming to love and cherish her the rest of their days.

Surrounded by family and friends...
who watch lovingly as the young couple began their journey.