Friday, April 29, 2011

So Nervous

Today is finals day for American History and Accounting.  I've been studying on and off for the past few weeks. I'm terrified.  What happens if I forget everything once I sit down to take the exams?  Will I be okay if I don't do so hot?  Monday I have Gen Chem I and Intro to Dietetics, Tuesday the last Statistics test.  I made an A- in Chemistry lab.  I want to pull a C for lecture so I can finally move on.  I'll have an A in Statistics after Tuesday (I love self-led classes).  I'm hoping for a B but will be glad for a C in Dietetics.  I think I'll have at least a B in History and again hoping for a B but glad for a C in Accounting.   Not the best grades, I know.  However as I'm taking harder and harder classes as long as I've honestly tried I'm happy with B's (C's still not okay, but I'll live with them).
My test anxiety is mild compared to other people.  Everyone gets anxious because the final test is, normally, such a big part of your grade.  My chemistry final is worth 160 points out of a total 500 points, that's 32% of my total grade.  That can make or break you. It's sorta comprehensive as well.  The professor said it was going to have chapters 9 and 10 and some from the earlier chapters as well.  I'm thinking it's mostly going to be 9 and 10 with some extras thrown in to fill up the points necessary.  So I'm studying chapters 1-10 with extra attention to the areas that I've had difficulties with (gas laws and the energy problems mostly).  Accounting should be okay as long as I remember how bonds are done and get assets, liabilities, cash flows all straight.  I took a mock final last night and wasn't too impressed with myself.  History is easy, I've been learning American History since kindergarten.  It doesn't change much so I'll look over my notes here in a few minutes and I'm confident I'll do fine.  Dietetics is, well different.  I have a feeling most of her questions are going to be over the American Dietetic Society.  So I'll make sure I know their mission and goals and everything and go over the power points she did in class.
I was told by a former co-worker last night that I came up in conversation the other day.  Everyone is talking about how well I'm doing.  I adore my ex co-workers and do hope I live up to the hype.  I've been getting told by quite a few people that so and so mentioned how proud they were of me and how smart I am.  I don't feel smart most of the time.  I'm so worried that I'm going to disappoint a ton of people.  This doesn't help my stress/anxiety levels any.  I'm glad that people think well of me, I hope I can surpass their expectations. It's a struggle at times (most of the time actually).  I get frustrated, my house gets messy, I forget things (appointments, bills, keys, kids' homework). I feel like I'm expected to do everything and do it exceptionally well. I'm not perfect, I'm human.  I try my best and cross my fingers and pray to whichever deity ( god, goddess, God, Flying Spaghetti Monster) will listen.


sweetmomma said...

Flying Spaghetti Monster? I wonder about you sometimes lol

Jackie said... You haven't heard of the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Be careful that he doesn't strike you with his noodly appendage! Carbo Diem FSM lol