My other blog...

I have another blog, at times I've thought about closing it down but then the skinny-but-thinks-she's-fat girl that's a part of me gets back to reading it and I keep it going. It's where I post most of my weightloss/eating stuff. I'm going to link it to here even though, to me anyway, some of the posts can be disturbing (yea like the day 3 years ago I was proud of myself for only eating 126 calories). I post on it kind sporatically. It bugs me to read some of the posts though, I'll beat myself up for eating 1700 calories or 1400 calories when I know that's not that bad. Especially since my bmr is 1592 so I'm burning off that 1400 calories just by being and out of that 1700 calories only about 200 is extra and that's not that hard to get rid of. Well the link is in the sidebar if you want to check it out go ahead.

Well, Now I just cross my fingers and wish very hard

I just sent in my app to a nursing program...I'm really hoping for this one, if I don't get in then so be it I'll try again later. I know I already have one in for the lpn program but I really, really, really(goddess are you listening?) really want to be a Rn not an lpn. This will save me about 5,000 dollars if I can just go straight into an Rn program instead of having to go through an lpn and branching over to Rn. I've gotten accepted once before in this program but I've also screwed up so bad the last semester at college that I'm afraid they'll just flat out say no. It'll be okay though 'cause all they can say is no right? If they do I just go on with plan B if that don't work then I'll figure out plan C but I'll get there. I actually did the app last week online today I just sent in my 25.00 and started sending in my letters of recommendation. 1 down 2 more to go. Bad thing is no one here has known me more then a few months and nearly everyone else I know are related. The whole big family from a small town thing, your related to everyone. It was a real good thing we moved 'cause most likely my kids would of ended up dating cousins and that just ain't right.
My hubby just wants me to decide on what I'm going to do and do it. He would rather not have to pay more then he absolutely has to though. He will though if needed without complaining...too much. He's such a great guy really. Actually I know he's waiting for me to start earning the "big bucks" so he can slack off and spend all his time fishing and playing video games, lol.
Well that's it I guess for now, gotta go put my "sick" kid to work. He was sick last night had a migraine and vomiting but no fever. Today he seems just dandy 'cept for a nasty cough that he's had for about 2 weeks, if it doesn't go away this week I'm going to have to make a doctor's appointment I guess. He gets this way every year a couple times a year so I figure it's allergies but since my niece has been unofficially diagnosed with asthma with similar symptoms I'm thinking I outta have my ds checked out.

She Doesn't Know She's Beautiful

We go out to a party somewhere
The moment we walk in the door
People stop and everybody stares
She don't know what they're staring for

She don't know she's beautiful (never crossed her mind)
She don't know she's beautiful (no she's not that kind)
She don't know she's beautiful
Though time and time I've told her so

There she goes just walking down the street
And someone lets a whistle out
A girl like her she just can't see
What the fuss is all about

And she don't know she's beautiful (never crossed her mind)
She don't know she's beautiful (no she's not that kind)
She don't know she's beautiful
Though time and time I've told her so

Morning comes and her hair's all a mess
That's when she thinks she looks her worst
It's times like this she don't know why
I can't take my eyes off her

'Cause she don't know she's beautiful (never crossed her mind)
She don't know she's beautiful (no she's not that kind)
She don't know she's beautiful
Though time and time I've told her
She don't know she's beautiful (never crossed her mind)
She don't know she's beautiful (no she's not that kind)
She don't know she's beautiful
Though time and time I've told her
She don't know she's beautiful (never crossed her mind)
She don't know she's beautiful (no she's not that kind)
She don't know she's beautiful
Though time and time I've told her so

~She Don't Know She's Beautiful, Sammy Kershaw

My sister and I were talking about this the other day. Do you or are you know the woman who's extremely pretty but does not seem to get it. We or I should say she, I know this person but not as well as my sister does, know someone who has the best skin hair color combination(she has this porcelain skin and black hair and and dark eyes really pretty) and my sister says yea but she(the other person) never sees it. I'm kinda the same way...I know I'm not ugly but it sure does my ego good when I go to take care of my residents and they comment on how pretty I am, how good a complexion I have. I'm no where as thin as I used to be but I still get cat calls and turn the occasional head when I walk down a street. I know when I look at myself in the mirror I must see something totally different then everyone else sees. I see every blemish, every ounce of fat, the muffin top over my pants, the jiggly arms , the stomach pooch (all of which are getting smaller slowly but surely). One of these days my self-esteem will let me see what everyone else sees I'm sure of it. I just hope my daughter realizes how beautiful she is and no one ever tells her different. No actually I won't her to think she's just slightly over average, 'cause I don't ever want her to think she's better then anyone else (even though in my eyes she'll always be) .

Skip Day

I'm a big fan of skip days. Ever so often a kid (or an adult for that matter) just needs to take a day off and relax (especially when spring fever hits). I'm letting my youngest son have a skip day today. He worked so hard for it to. Last night he goes "Mommy I won't feel good tomorrow, 'cause I had a headache yesterday." This morning it was "I don't feel good, I didn't sleep good last night." Of course this was followed with the required moping around and shuffling of feet. Now he's all better. Perfect attendance is overrated and I won't have one of those kids who stress out if they are actually sick 'cause it will ruin their perfect record. So what, take a day. These kids become the adults who show up to work no matter if their serious ill or not and spread their germs to everyone else causing them to become sick.
Skip days at my house are somewhat fun for the kids. They do have to do some work but they also get to spend some time one-on-one with Mommy and that's pretty special to them. I'm glad it's special to them and right now I'll treasure that 'cause the day is coming soon when they will not want anything to do with me...well I hope not, I know not all kids get that way but there's a good chance of it.
I'm applying to an RN program as well as the LPN one. If I get into the RN program I'll drop my application from the other one. I hope I do but I'm afraid I won't. All they can do is tell me no not right now, right? Right now I just have to gather up my letters of recommendation, transcripts and everything and send it in and hope for the best. They require a 2.5 gpa...mine may be less given my last semester at college was horrible. I know I'll have to write a letter saying why it was horrible (I was accepted into this school once before but couldn't attend; it took me 2-3 months to get through everything to get in, I could of ringed my hubby's neck but that's in the past..sorta, lol). Anyway I'm going to give it a shot and if I get in great, if I don't then I'll try the lpn-rn route either way I'm hoping to be through with it all before my oldest gets into high school...I have 4 years so hopefully. Well off to get things done around the house today, I'm so glad I have today off, this weeks been stressful at work.

Wow, I'm really starting to slack here.

I seem to only be doing one or two posts a week lately. I mean to do more it's just that I'll do a post and get busy and before I know it nearly a weeks gone by. I've not really got a whole lot going on but I've got a whole lot going on. I'm working near 40 hours a week and Hubby's on an out-of-town job so it's just me and the kiddies so I've been busy and having a few minutes to sit down and blog has been rare, well maybe medium-rare. Okay that was corny, I am sorry.
I just placed and order for some Tupperware tumblers, I hadn't tried or sold any yet but my sister has and says her customers are raving about them so I just had to try it and right now they are bogo till the 25th. She said that one of her customers just fills it up and tosses it in her bag and it doesn't leak a drop and if you put a straw in it and knock it over it'll just leak a drop or two. Speaking of which, Queenie, I just got my new catalogs in and will get you one out in the mail after work.

I need to get burning.

It's been a while since I've finished a burn. I've got artist's block I guess. I get lots of ideas but just can't seem to get myself to pick up a piece of wood and burn on it. I do have an awesome idea for one that I am going to attempt to do.
Here's the rough, really rough, draft:



It's going to be a lion statue with a empty city street behind it...think I am Legend where the streets are all grown over and wildlife has returned. I'm going to try and do it for a competition for a website/community I'm a part of. I'll probably draw it a couple more times before I put it to wood (mostly cause I want to get it just right and I cannot erase once I start burning).
Anyway that's an idea.

Well guess I need to get around today and try to get some stuff done. My table I got from freecycle is lovely and heavy. I barely carried it in the house, right now it's sitting in my living room. I'm a hoss and I'll manage though, lol. I've not had a dining room table in so long it's going to be so nice. The four chairs are in pretty good shape, minus a little artwork from the kids of the people I got it from. That's okay those magic erasers are wonderfull and slipcovers aren't hard to make and I've got plenty of fabric.

Good Day...

It really has been, only thing that would of made it better would of been if my hubby could of spent it with me. He's on an out-of-town job this week hopefully he'll be home tomorrow or saturday but it's a big maybe. He called me Tuesday while I was out with a friend and her daughter and my kiddies celebrating her birthday to tell me he may to work all weekend. That left me in a very tight weekend, our daycare doesn't operate on weekends. Luckily my friend is a good friend and said she would watch the kids for me if needed.
Anyway back to my day. I went shopping 'cause my oldest ds wore pants to school today that looked like he was prepared for more rain. Yep he's ready for the Mississippi to flood into our front yard. Good news is, they finally fit his waist, lol. Given our recent history with the school, I figured I outta go and buy him some new jeans. I got the other two boys a pair or two as well. None for dd 'cause she's the one I usually buy clothes for and has enough if only she would put them in the laundry hamper. So I got jeans and a shirt for ds1 and then went to Wally world and bought a few things and came home and mowed yard for two hours.
That yard is gonna be the death of me I swear. It's big, it's hilly, has ruts all over, not to mention the ditch oh and it appears at one time it must of been all dug up 'cause there are mounds that could of only been created by heavy equipment. I have a big ass bruise on one calf where something flew up and hit me and my hands are sore and have blisters and I'm sure I'll feel my abs and arms/shoulders in the morning. What's worse all I have done is the front yard. I still think that's good, especially since my front yard is at least half an acre if not a little more. I'm just hoping the rain holds off tomorrow until I get the backyard mowed and the garden finished tilled and planted.
This evening I'm going to get a dining room table and chairs that I got off of freecycle. She said it needs refinished and the chairs are a little rough, but I'm up for the challenge. It'll be nice to put the little folding table and chairs away and sit down to family dinners. I've been looking forward to family dinners since we moved in here. Turn the t.v. off and all 6 of us sitting around the table talking, joking and spending a few precious minutes in each other's company.
So I feel like I've accomplished something really, not much but I feel like I've worked. I still have to clean house but I'm saving that for tomorrow when it's raining.

For the want of a shoe...

My kids' school seems to of need a charity case and decided since my son wore shoes to school that had a hole in them ONCE (had no choice it was either those or some that were so wet they leaked) we were that case. Since then they have gave my son new shoes, sent my daughter home with hooker clothes that were too big for her and gave us several of the school carton type milk and juices. Today was the topper though, the school nurse sent my daughter home with some soap "samples" that were "extra". BULLSHIT!! My kids are not dirty, we can afford shoes and clothes and milk and juice and soap. As for telling my kids that all this stuff is just extra stuff that's a big load of crap. If this school has so much "extra" stuff just lying around then how come everytime you turn around they are fundraising for this or that.
The social worker for the school even called me up after they sent home some shoes for my youngest son and asked if everything was okay. She thought it was odd that we sent our oldest son on a field trip that cost 85.00 but our youngest was wearing holey shoes to school. WTF my children don't wear holey shoes or clothes to school on a regular basis. I even inspect my youngest to make sure he has underwear on (he's a commando type of man what can I say). I try to take every care to make sure there are no problems with the kids' appearences 'cause I know people judge and I try to avoid situations like this. I explained to her that no everything is fine, yes I work full-time now and my husband makes good money at his job. We only have one appliance in our yard and all of our cars are running at the moment...we're hoping to have one on blocks soon though and when we get a new fridge we're gonna give the old one a place of honor on the front porch, right beside the old broken couch(okay so I didn't say that last part but I'm so tempted to go redneck on these people). We just bought our own house, with it's own 1,000 dollar a month mortgage payment. Would we go and do that if we could not afford clothes, shoes and food for our children?!
The hooker clothes are something else though. I really should thank them for giving me the oppurtunity to explore other career options...Oh no wait, it must of been career day and they thought my daughter would be ideal for that type of work. Like I'm going to send my 10 year old daughter to school in a purple slutty halter top and a skirt that isn't even 5 inches long.
Enough's enough already...I emailed the school nurse ('cause she was the one to send the soap home) that anything else sent home with the kids will go to freecycle or a foodbank, I will not accept it.

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Have a Great Weekend...

I'm going to try to. Sunday is my 12th wedding anniversary. I have to work Sunday and hubby has to work Saturday so we'll find time to do something after work I guess. It's been a long 12 years, we've been through 4 births, lost one house and now we've bought another. We've moved about 11 times. He's gone through the 3 year apprenticeship at the Ironworker union, I've earned an Associates degree and have numerous other college hours. We've owned at least 10 vehicles. We've lost 2 loved ones. We've gained approximately 18 nieces and nephews(there's more I'm only counting ones born since April 13th, 1996). I graduated high school, I almost forgot that. There's been other moments in the past 12 years as well. We've been together for 15 years all together( I was 14, him 17 when we met. We were 17 and 20 when we got married...we were babies, lol). Anyway it's been a great 12 years ...there's not much about our marriage I would change, nothing really. It works, it works really good for us. A lot of people we know who had got married when we did are already divorced and remarried(sometimes more then once), or are on their way to divorce. We've gotten lucky, it takes some people many tries to find the right one. We got it on the first try.
I always wanted a marriage like the one I saw in my grandparents. They teased, they squabbled, they joked, they argued some. But, the love was always there when they looked at each other. It was there, in their eyes; it was there, when they touched; it was there in the little things they did for each other. This is what my hubby and I have. We pick on each other, we tease and joke, we get frustrated with each other. We kiss when one goes out the front door (even just to run down to the gas station), we touch when we are close to each other. We give random hugs and kisses to each other just because. I wake up early to see him off to work, he stays up late when I work late to see I made it home safe. Neither one of us sleep hardly at all when one is away. We agree on about 95% of things with raising the kids. We agree on about 80% of everything else. We were called a teddy bear couple in high school (sounds sickeningly sweet, huh. sorry, lol).
Well that's about it. I'm in love with my husband, still. I'm sure I'll still be in love with him when we reach our 50th anniversary. Have a great weekend.

This day's no good, I want a new one

I've not had the best of days. I thought today was the day for the lpn program orientation. I had thought this for nearly a month now. It had been going over over in my head April 9th at 9:00 am. Well, this morning I realize I was wrong. Luckily I realized this before I drove up to the school and showed up for an orientation session that was YESTERDAY. What's real bad is that they sent out a letter to remind everyone last week. Needless to say I didn't read it. I just sorta skimmed over it and set it aside totally missing the underlined and typed in bold print April 8, 2008. I didn't see that till this morning when I looked at the letter to see if I needed to bring anything with me. Oh well so I get my first day off in nearly two weeks...that's probably why I'm so ditsy right now, no it's not I'm pretty ditsy all the time just as my hubby, or my sisters, or my brother or anyone who's known me for any length of time the last 29 years.
So instead of that I went out and opened up a new bank account (my banks nearest location is about 25 miles away and I don't want to drive that far if I have to cash a check), paid the phone bill and went out and ordered cable and broadband Internet service(Yea no more dial up).
Hubby got rained out of work today, which it quit raining about 20 min after he got home so that sucks. They are calling for more rain tomorrow. Good thing I'm working full-time for a while or it would be a real tight squeeze to come up with May's mortgage payment.
We got a letter from the school saying ds1 has failed a vision test and we need to get him tested. So that'll be something to do later this month. Poor guy's already going to need braces and now maybe glasses. That'll go good with his tall, skinny(more then skinny he's kinda frail looking, all knees and elbows), freckled frame. Don't forget his goofy, living-in-a-game-world, quiet personality. This on top of starting middle school next year. Only the hardest years, socially, in a kids life(in my opinion anyways). He'll grow into a dream when he gets older but he's getting ready to hit the ugly duckling stage unfortunately for him. He'll be fine I'm sure. When he's all grown up and working his dream job at Microsoft or Sony or wherever; designing/inventing video games making all the big bucks he can laugh at all the losers who dare to make fun of him.
Well anyway gotta go and do something.

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I'm ready for a day off...

...but unfortunately that's not gonna happen till next Friday. Well not exactly I have the 9th off but I have an orientation for the Lpn school to go to and it's suppose to last 3 hours. So I don't really count that as a day off. So far I like where I'm at now, there's been a little grumbling but it's nothing really someone mentioned why I was on a section for 4 days, well 'cause that's where they put me. They rotate the sections, well are suppose to anyway, you work one for 4 days(or 5 if you pick up a day) and then you get your day(s) off and then when you back you move to the next section, rinse and repeat. So the other ladies told me to not worry about it I'm only doing what I'm suppose to be doing, this lady is almost always on a certain section herself...hmmmm. Anyway it's not a big deal, with one drama leaving somebody is certain to want to fill that spot. That somebody is not me though so they can find someone else to pick on. I'm just there to do my job, make sure all my residents are clean, dry and fed and whatever. I would like to be on friendly terms with all my coworkers but with some people that takes time (you know the ones that are waiting for the newbie to screw up so they can jump all over her). There are certain working habits that people do here that maybe they aren 't suppose to, but most people just roll their eyes and go on. As long as I'm not having to do their jobs I don't care.
Welll, after a little mess up eating (I had some pizza and junk early last week) I'm back on track. I lost the nearly 2lbs I gained from eating junk so all's good there. I feel like I don't work out enough but after everything settles down and gets into a pattern, basically after this weekend, I'll get that lined out. My 12th wedding anniversary is coming up next weekend, so I'm trying to figure out what to do there. I was going to go to Dave& Buster's after seeing the commercials on t.v. and thinking there was one in Memphis but no, according to the website the nearest one is in Nashville. I'm not driving 4 hours for that. I do want to go out though, maybe we'll go down to Tunica and eat at one of the Casino's and hope to strike it big. I kinda doubt that, we're just not much for gambling. We're a boring couple, lol.