Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Tomorrows Horoscope and Contemplating

Scorpio You don't know whether to laugh or cry, for your world seems intensely crazy now, even if the excitement level is high. Fortunately, you are willing to ride the roller coaster of emotions you are experiencing, for there's no easy way to stop. Keep in mind that this journey is perfectly safe and that you need not distinguish your fantasies from what's actually happening. You will gain the clarity you need in a couple of days.
Man sometimes these horoscopes are so accurate they're scary. I don't know about the roller coaster idea, I feel more like I'm drowning or someone is holding a pillow over my head. I just want everything to line up just right. I'm tired of the roller coaster I want to get off.
College isn't suppose to be easy and this isn't really what's upsetting me about it all. It's my own failures. I made a C in Anatomy & Physiology I. A 'C' is not good enough, I needed a B or A. Now I'm in another course called Math for Nurses and we are told that anything less then an 80 is failing. I'm questioning myself, I keep crying over this crap and I just don't know anymore if it's all worth it.
Thing is every time I think about changing degree plans, career plans and giving up on nursing I get this lump/tightening in my stomach and the waterworks starts and I can't control it. Just the thought of giving up on a dream I've held on so tightly just tears me up inside. This dream and my husband are the only constants in my life. Everything and everyone else changes but these two have stayed the same.
Hubby is very, oh so very supportive. He tells me it's nothing to cry over and just keep trying. I'm just tired of it all and I fear that I'm never going to be good enough to get into a nursing program.

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