So far my professors seem interesting. My accounting professor seemed asleep/drunk/hungover/stoned or some combination. I'm not sure I comprehend how he is going to run the class. I'm guessing it's a combination of online homework and lecture but he seemed vague on the lecture part. I'm half afraid he's just going to show powerpoints every class. The statistics course is going to be great. It's and independent course. You only go to the scheduled class time to ask questions or take a test. You can take one test every 2 days so it's feasible to be done in about 5 weeks. To make an A in the class you just have to make an 80% or higher on 10 tests. My History teacher is just back from 5 years active duty. He said he returned from Iraq in September. He has a sense of humor and will probably be fine once he gets into a routine. He said they changed the book since he was away so he has to redo notes and lectures but it's History so everything is pretty much still the same. My Chemistry professor says "okay" after every few words. His last name is Li and English definitely isn't his first language so that's probably why he has that habit.

No classes on Monday because of Martin Luther King day. I have my first lab session on Wednesday and then the following Monday is my Intro to Dietetics class.

I'm hoping my oldest son comes closer to passing the pt test in his C.A.P. meeting today. He is passing the online tests okay, he hasn't been practicing/exercising at home so I'm not sure he'll pass the requirements yet. Hubby and I have been telling him to do even just a few sit-ups and push-ups everyday so he can gain strength. I guess we just need to keep pushing him to try just a bit harder.

Okay we had snow, so does that mean winter is over now?

Pretty please? I'm tired of cold, gray skies. Everything is just so neutral. I'm ready for vibrant colors, heat, humidity. The kids have missed two days of school this week because of Sundays snow. So far they are going tomorrow. I had to miss my middle sons iep meeting because of school being cancelled yesterday. Now I worry about when they'll want to reschedule it, because after Thursday my schedule will make it difficult for me to attend and I want to be there.
Today was better with getting the kiddies to all do chores. I took and made a very short list of things that had to be done in 6 areas (bathroom, kitchen, den, living room, dining room, laundry). I wrote these on small pieces of paper of equal size folded and put them in a bag for everyone to draw from (me included, hubby got left out due to being at work today we decided he gets to draw on weekends). Then we all spend 20 minutes on our drawn areas, if we complete our tasks before time ran out then we had to go and help someone else with theirs. Whoever had laundry had to help between waiting for dryer/washer and folding/putting away clothes. The kids agreed to the rules and we went on and did what chore we had drawn. When 20 minutes were up the kids actually wanted more time so they could complete their lists. I told them that it didn't matter that they didn't get it done. All that mattered was that they worked for 20 straight minutes. Eventually the rooms will get done enough that the tasks will all be completed in less then 20 minutes. I was proud of them today.

Motivation...or the lack of

There is a big lack of motivation in my household. Starting with me. I've got so much I want(ed) to do before the semester started. So far the only I've accomplished the past 3 weeks is getting my druid from level 78 to level 83(almost a 84 woot). While this is a sort of accomplishment it's not really one to be super proud of. I wanted to have my desk organized (I cleaned most of last semesters leftover papers off of it), I wanted the laundry caught up, house nice and straight. Classes start Thursday so most of this is not going to be happening. I want to start running, but cringe at the thought of going outside to do it. It's not the thought of exercise, it's the cold and the idea of looking goofy while the neighbors peer at me through their windows. I'm having trouble getting the get-up-and-go needed to get stuff done.

The rest of the family seems to be having similar problems. Kids are avoiding chores (like going outside to play when they are told to do dishes). They are spending too much time in front of t.v. and video games(yea I'm not much of a role model in that concept lately...you did see the part where I've been leveling a toon). My oldest son is in the Civil Air Patrol...has been since October but has yet to rank, and has only passed one of the tests. He enjoys the meetings but getting him to do the work so he can do the more advance stuff is full of hair-pulling frustration. So hubby and I are trying to get him more motivated to do the little bit of work required to excel. It's not much a few sit-ups, push-ups some running to pass pt. A small amount of reading/studying to pass the quizzes and the quizzes are mostly common sense. Hubby has stuff he wants done around the house but he doesn't usually feel like it when he's home. The cold has a lot to do with that too, he works all day in it 5 days a week. He doesn't really want to work all weekend in it as well.

Spring is only a few weeks away(about 11 ugh) and so hopefully the rest of winter will fly by and warmer weather will be here and everyone will perk back up and start getting stuff done around here. Doesn't help we have the depressing thought of snow coming tomorrow night. I can't stand the stuff. It's cold, wet, makes the ground super mushy. About the only thing I can thing it's good for is filling the aquafiers so we have plenty of water for drinking, plants, etc. Which is really important so I guess I can deal with it for a day. I'm just really grateful for a neighbor with a tractor with a plow who is generous enough to plow our driveway and the street.

Doubt

A new semester looms. Last semester was pretty much a disaster of my own making. This is leading my to doubt my abilities for the next one. Again I'm taking a full load of classes. Honestly 16 hours doesn't feel like too much, it's the other things in life that overwhelm me. Two papers do this week, no problem. Work needs me to fill in for someone, problem. Laundry piled two feet deep in hallway problem (which also has me asking why this is falling on me because everyone that lives in this house is perfectly capable of running the washer and dryer). Everyone wanting dinner by 6pm, sometimes a problem (4 out of the 6 people living here can cook at least somewhat). Other various smallish things happening can be a problem. Most of these I can deal with or work around.

I took care of one problem, I put in my notice at work and will no longer be working prn. Hubby encouraged me to do this. I'm not earning enough that it's making a dent in our expenses. He's also tired of me complaining because when I'm at work I'm not working on homework, paper, studying for test etc. So one less stress to deal with. As for the other stuff, eh. I learned that a clean house and good grades don't always go together. Everyone here is old enough to pick up after themselves and help out more then they do. As long as dishes aren't left in the sink for days at a time and no one is complaining that all their clothes are dirty and what I consider the public rooms (living room, kitchen, dining room, hall, kids bathroom) are reasonably clean. It's all good. Bedrooms have doors on them for a reason.

This post is about my doubt that I'll do well this semester. I blew last semester, but I did well the two prior semesters. I know I can do well. I just have to do it. It just has me doubting that I'm going to meet my goals. Am I going to graduate in 2, 2 1/2 years? Am I going to pass the MCAT? Am I good enough for med. school? Should I continue to try and be a doctor? Or should I just work with the degree I'm working on now? Is this all worth it? Why can't I be happy with a normal, mediocre life. Thousands of people are. What do I hope to gain from this?

Merry Holidays

I'm finished with finals and with some I did great, some not so good. A couple classes I'm going to have to retake. It really sucks because it's all my fault because I cannot honestly say I tried. I think a few weeks into the semester I kind of gave up on them rather then buckle down and try. Hubby and I had a chat tonight and I'm going to try harder next semester. He was disappointed in me and said pretty much what I was thinking. He doesn't mind having to pay for classes again if I tried then failed. He knows that I didn't try though and it disappoints him. So I've got to buck up and get my head on straight. I'm going to do it, I don't want to feel like a loser.

So I'm only making one goal for this coming year. I'm going to write down a to do list every night before I go to bed for the next day and post it on my computer screen. So if I need to do such and such chapters, write so much on an essay, clean this room, and every day exercise a min. of 30 minutes it gets written down. This one thing will go so far with helping me with all my other goals that it needs to be the most important thing. I'm going to start this tomorrow (classes start in two weeks and I need to get to a point where this is almost a habit).

I'm hoping everyone reading this is having a wonderful holiday season with only the best wishes for a fantastic new year.

36 hours

In 36 hours (give or take a minute and a few seconds) I'll be ....32. It's starting to sound old. Which is funny, I don't feel old. I don't look old (or so I'm told). I don't think I act old (even though my usual bedtime is around 9pm...it happens when you have to wake up at 5am and put in long days of studying, working and parenting). 32, wow, it doesn't seem possible. I feel a decade younger then that number implies. I think, from now on, instead of making new year resolutions I'm going to make birthday resolutions. It seems better as you almost always renege on the new year ones. Instead of resolutions I think I'll call them promises. I try never to break a promise. I also try to never make promises I cannot keep. Needless to say I make few promises. So I'll think on this for the next 36 hours (well now 35 hours and some odd minutes) and post on Wednesday what I'll promise for myself. I have an idea, but I want to make sure they are viable and it's something I'll keep. No disappointment hurts worse then when you disappoint yourself.

Semester is almost over and I think I'm doing all right in most of my classes. Calculus is kinda iffy and I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to retake Gen. ChemI. The others I'm sure I'm doing just fine in. I'm switching majors from Biochem to Dietetics. Still have to take Gen. Chemistry and Organic Chemistry, ugh. Anyway I think it'll go more towards the type of doctor I want to be. If I was heading into pathology, endocrinology, oncology then Biochemistry would be great. I just want to be a Family physician. I want to treat the whole someone, not just give them a pill and send them on their way. I want to be able to give them the tools they need to live a healthy life. In order to teach my patients I have to learn. I want to be able to do so much, I really hope I can get there. I'll be a good doctor, I know this in my heart.