Thursday, December 08, 2011

It's the Most Sentimental Time of the Year

There is something about this time of year that makes me think. I have a tendency to review my life. Mistakes I've made, my achievements, my hopes, dreams and goals. What did I do wrong this year that I need to correct? What did I do right that I need to continue? What have I not changed that I need to change?
I'm trying to learn to not look too far back. We've all made mistakes, we've all said, wrote, done the wrong things. I try to just do a year at a time because more then that is just ridiculous. Too much time has gone by and details have been skewed or forgotten.
So what about this past year? Well, let's start with the good. I've learned(and still learning) to forgive. Most things that have angered/upset me in the past are trivial in the long haul. Relationships are too important to let things linger. I wish I could teach forgiveness; since I'm still learning and it's such a personal thing, I can't. I've found a place for religion in my heart. If you've read this blog long or looked at the archives you see I once (not too long ago) went a different path. However, since making the decision to go to church I feel I found a place I belong and God is firmly in my life and...well words cannot quite describe it, simply it's all good. I have gotten a good hold on my health. My body is starting to respond how I want it, mentally I'm in a good place.
Now for the bad. Well, like I said I'm still learning to forgive. That's really hard. Sometimes you read something or something is taken out of context and old hurts appear. I have to remind myself that the past is past. I'm only someone in my own world and really probably rarely cross anyone else's mind. Basically I think different then most people I know, not good or bad just different. I know that sounds kind like I'm try to garner attention, I'm not. This is where it's hard to convey feelings in black and white. I'm not saying I'm a nobody or unimportant. I'm saying that sometimes we as humans think we are more important then we really are. It's the society we live in, the everyone wins mentality we grew up with and our children are being taught. There has to be losers and that's okay as well. Losing teaches you to do better.
Another bad is my study habits really need to improve. For example, I'm creating this blog post when I have a final tomorrow. I really need to learn how to stop procrastinating. I've read articles on it, but sometimes it requires more work then I'm willing to do. I'm not lazy, I'm not unmotivated(at least not at all times), I just have trouble getting started. Once going I'm gold.
So here's to the past, present and future. Here's to sentiments and life lessons. Here's to remembering and moving on. These are the things that mold our behaviors, attitudes, outlooks and more.

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