Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Fat Tuesday

No I'm not Catholic.  I wouldn't even to go so far to say I'm Christian.  I'm more neo-pagan I suppose if I must have a religion.  I believe that  there are things greater then us and that if we pray/ask nicely/meditate/worship or whichever then these greater things/beings will help us when we are in need. That is a run on sentence if I've ever seen one.  Oh well, anyway.  I believe what you believe is a private thing between you and whatever deity you choose.  
That all being said this year I'm choosing to celebrate Fat Tuesday and upcoming season of Lent in my own fashion.  I'm not giving up anything material (I've already given up processed sugar, anymore right now would be way too much).  Instead I'm going to set aside a few minutes every day to meditate and move past past hurts.  I want to use the next 40 days to learn how to forgive and forget.  People have hurt me and mine in big ways and small in the past 32 years of my life.  Most of the small stuff I've let go, there are a few big things that I hang on to.  I need to let these go as well, I'm afraid of becoming bitter.  If you ever had the joy of truly knowing me you know that I'm not a bitter person.  I'm mostly optimistic (though a heavy dose of doubt gets thrown in once and a while).  While I don't trust easy, I do give everyone I meet a good chance and think that most people are good.  At least until they prove otherwise.
I'm working to clean up my life.  I'm working on my body by trying to put clean foods into it.  I've cut out a lot of processed items and continue to refine my intake until I get to the point I feel I've reached my personal optimum. I'm encouraging my family to eat healthier and make better food sources.  I'm trying to lose fat and gain muscle.  I'll get there.
I'm working on my house.  I'm trying to go one room at time and remove clutter and dirt.  Our home needs to be welcoming, energizing, relaxing. It needs to be your safe place.  I'll get there.
I need to start working on my mind.  My motivation levels drop fast.  This makes stop working out, stop trying to eat better, stop cleaning.  I need to work on keeping these up.  I need to clean my mind of junk.  I need to move past grudges that seem to border on obsession.   It's just not worth the time and thought processes to continue.  So I'm going to find a way in the next 40 days to purge my mind and gain freedom from petty grievances, grudges, and much more.

No comments: