Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Just a thought on something I read...

I love reading other peoples blogs, especially people who write like I'm sure they are in real life. A bit snarky, lots of attitude, really upfront no nonsense people. These are also people I have tendency to like in real life.

Well I was reading a post a lady a done about how much she values her online friendships a maybe a bit more then real life friendships. Saying how these people are more real to her then anyone she's known in real life basically. While reading this I thought of my sil/stepsister. ..this could of came directly out of her mouth. She even moved to Tx to be close to an online friend(well partly that and partly 'cause she's always wanted to live in Tx). She's always said how much her online friends are better then anyone on in real life to her.

Well I'm thinking that maybe just maybe it's the people themselves and not the fact you met them online. Maybe if you would of met them in real life first you still would of been as close as you are online. Some people just click. Personally I don't have any online friends really...there's people I've met and talked to online, but not enough to develop a friendship. I've shared moments with them...only one of them I would like to talk to again (a lady I talked to a few years ago who lived in tx she has two girls and is in her thirties and for the life of me I cannot remember her yahoo id, umm she was telling me how her boyfriend/fiance was trying break up with her once by using the lyrics from the song Cowboy in Me by Tim Mcgraw...she worked as a dispatcher...if you read this and it sounds familiar leave me a message so we can catch up, I don't even remember my yahoo id from back then I've been losingmymarbles96 for a long time now but it was different then, back in 2001/02 I believe) but anywho she is about the only one I talked to on my own, I talked to a couple of people who were introduced to me by someone else. Actually it's funny she started talking to me and my hubby is the one who was on the computer so he acted like he was me and that's how we started talking, lol.

Anyway back to the subject. I can see how you can maybe have real relationships with someone online. The convenience of it all makes it nice too. how many times have you either had to cancel on real life friends or have them cancel on you. Online friends are usually there about the same time everyday and you don't have to get dressed and go somewhere to meet them. But then real life friends have met you, sometimes grew up with you. Most likely have met your family, your other friends and now nearly every little detail about you. It's easier to lie online just the same as it can be easier to tell the truth. It's harder to lie when making a friend in real life, most people can spot a liar. I have very practically no friends online and very few friends in real life. I'm pretty much a loner, lol. I have a large family/extended family and just don't have a great need for friendly relationships I guess.

I make tons of acquaintances. Coworkers, hubby's coworkers, parents in the homeschool group, parents of the kids' friends, people I've talked to online. But I never seem to let these relationships go past the acquaintance stage, I never let them close. Maybe it's the Scorpio in me, lol. Maybe that's why I sometimes have trouble with people who love their friends more then their family members. Yea family can be a pain in the ass and family will break your heart more times then you can count on. But my family is always there when I need them and they're there when I would rather not have anything to do with 'em, lol. The few friends I have, I've had since middle or elementary school. We live miles apart but still keep in touch somewhat. We are nowhere as close as we used to be, but I can count on them. My best friend is Hubby (like you couldn't figure that out from every other post I've mentioned him, lol).

I'm an odd duck, I love being around people, I'm a people person actually. People I barely know will tell me their life story, but they may never know much more then my name and that I have a husband and four kids. I like it this way for the most part. At times it would be nice to have a friend I could be real close to. At times I'm a bit jealous of people I know who talk about how close they are to their friends, how they are closer then some siblings. But then again,to be honest, I don't have the time or energy to devote to that type of relationship. I kinda like to keep things superficial for the most part, it's too scary to let someone into your inner circle. Too let them know all your secrets and such. That gives this person too much ammo to use against you one day, to hurt you. I'm a big 'ol chicken, lol. Besides if I keep everything superficial then I can slip into oblivion an no one misses me. Or at least that is one of my trains of thought. I think, though, that I don't really realize or think about the effect I may have on a near-strangers life. Because really, everyone you meet in a days time you've had some effect on good or bad. I guess that's why I tend to look everyone in the eye and smile or grin at them; whether it be the grocery store, bank, gas station or at work.

Don't get me wrong, I want to make friends. Eventually my kiddies will grow up and move out and all I'll have is hubby to argue with, lol. ONline friends can be ok I guess, but really I prefer real life friends. I would love to meet another couple similar to Hubby and I. To have someone to go out with, party with(yea like we party<> ). I would like to have a friend who comes over to hang out and bitch about husbands, kids, work and life and then we go shopping, lol. I want one of those t.v. friendships. You can't get that online, your online buddy may be great but can she come over last minute to watch the kids while you run out for some emergency (okay so this would be possible if you met an online buddy that happens to live close by but that's not usually the case). Can she (he?) come by for coffee/tea and gossip or to help you paint a room or decorate or celebrate your birthday (or kids' birthdays whatever the occasion might be). I want the t.v. friend who drops by first thing in the morning on a Saturday just to bug the hell outta ya. I want the t.v. friend who you adore but your husband rolls his eyes when he hears her name. I probably want too much , lol. Okay this is long-winded enough hope everyone has a great day. Every friend is a blessing whether it be online or not. But don't make your real life friends and family feel like they are lesser beings compared to them. Well you shouldn't compare your family to your friends anyway. You choose your friends not your family, you just have to love (and deal with) your family, faults and all.

1 comment:

Queenie said...

Online friends come with no baggage. If you don't like them, they are easy to ignore. LOL! I have several online buddies that I consider friends. I think it all has to do with common interests. You both obviously like the computer/blog whatever. You have a similar schedule which makes it easier to connect. Like you were saying..its not a huge effort to have a chat with them. Good and bad with everything.
FYI - I met my hub online. Maybe I am not a good and impartial judge for the whole online thing. LMAO.